Colonist Party of the Philippines

Tag: west philippine sea

  • AI Filipinos Rally: No to Imee, Marcoleta Independence Shift

    AI-generated protesters encouraging the US to create a 69-dash line seizing control of the Philippines while also rejecting the right to vote.

    AI-Generated Filipino Citizens hit the streets to protest against Senators Imee Marcos and Rodante Marcoleta’s call for an independent foreign policy. One bold protester holds up a map encouraging the US to draw a 69-dash line straight across the Pacific, claiming the Philippines as its own. “No Voting Rights Please” reads one placard.

    Marcoleta argued that a US pullback could allow the Philippines to redefine its foreign and security policy without relying heavily on external powers, according to The Manila Times.

    Many of these protesters worship the Enhanced Defense Cooperation Agreement (EDCA), and were outraged when Marcoleta mentioned to “remove EDCA” and “Go home.” These protesters have shrines of America in their homes and use the US flag as bed sheets.

    The Colonist Party of the Philippines remains neutral on this front. We are equally thrilled to be spit-roasted by both US and China.

  • Map of the Philippines Under Chinese Rule

    Normally, given how subservient Filipinos are to Americans, I would have preferred to draw maps with places easily pronounced by our beloved western overlord.

    But given how China is dominating our coasts recently, I wouldn’t mind entertaining the idea of selling our souls to the Chinese instead. Here is what our map might look like under Chinese rule.

    Philippine map under chinese rule.
    JL 09, CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
    (Though the file was modified with colors and labels)

    The name South Sea New Province (南海新省) another fresh addition to China’s coastal buffet. China would be happy to give us the independence of choosing between dim sum or adobo-flavored dumplings.

    Here are the proposed names of the three island groups.

    Old NameNew English NameNew Chinese Name
    LuzonNorth Dragon Island北龙岛
    VisayasCentral Cluster中央群
    MindanaoSouth Wind Land南风地

    I’m excited what other country might meddle with our affairs. In the end, we never know to whom we are going to devote our heart and soul to until the dust settles.