Thousands of Filipinos took to the streets yesterday in a stunning display of intellect, waving placards and chanting slogans demanding that the government immediately outlaw all forms of public rallies.

Armed with PhD-level logic, our kababayans marched in perfect formation while screaming, “Down with demonstrations! Ban the banners! Truly, Einstein would be jealous. Bonus points to the guy who brought a sign reading “This Is My Last Rally—Make It Count!”

Fellow Filipinos, let’s applaud this masterclass in self-sabotage. In a world full of problems, our people have once again proven we’re the smartest by outsmarting ourselves. Next up: A hunger strike to ban food?