Normally, given how subservient Filipinos are to Americans, I would have preferred to draw maps with places easily pronounced by our beloved western overlord.

But given how China is dominating our coasts recently, I wouldn’t mind entertaining the idea of selling our souls to the Chinese instead. Here is what our map might look like under Chinese rule.

The name South Sea New Province (南海新省) another fresh addition to China’s coastal buffet. China would be happy to give us the independence of choosing between dim sum or adobo-flavored dumplings.

Here are the proposed names of the three island groups.

I’m excited what other country might meddle with our affairs. In the end, we never know to whom we are going to devote our heart and soul to until the dust settles.